I Had Already Decided the Answer Was No

“Who clears GATE anyway—and that too in the third year?”

I'm Shubham Mankhand, and I have been working in software for almost 20 years, much of it in the Bay Area.

In 2003, while studying at VIET, Dadri, I appeared for GATE in my third year. Once the exam was over, I more or less forgot about it. Clearing it did not feel realistic.

Then the score letter arrived by post at my father's office.

I had cleared it.

For a brief moment, I thought IIT or IISc would naturally follow. It did not work that way.

Different programmes had their own tests, interviews and expectations. I travelled across India, but one process after another did not work out. Eventually, I assumed that chapter was closed.

One day, my brother went to check whether the IIT Delhi results had been announced. That was how we discovered that I was waiting-list number four for its M.Tech programme in Computer Technology.

The people ahead of me chose other programmes or institutions, and I got in.

I had already decided that the answer was no.

Someone around me cared enough to keep looking.

That moment stayed with me. We often believe we are taking on the world alone, while people around us may already be willing to help. They cannot always read our minds, though. Asking, speaking and allowing ourselves to receive help are part of the journey too.

A few years later, during placements, I chose a Wi-Fi startup over an opportunity in software testing because I feared I might remain in testing forever.

I do not regret the choice. But with a better understanding of how careers and organisations work, I would have evaluated the options differently.

These were not failures of ability.

They were decisions made with the signals available to me at the time.

Ability is often already present. Access is uneven.

Life is not one narrow ladder.

People take risks, choose stability, build quietly, care for families, change direction, learn crafts, begin again and create lives that make sense for them.

No one path should become the template for another.

Students are not only choosing courses and jobs. They are trying to understand independence, money, relationships, responsibility, family expectations, uncertainty, belonging and the kind of life they want to build.

What may be missing is access—to someone who has faced a similar choice, a perspective that widens their field of view, a useful resource, an opportunity they did not know existed, or simply the right question at the right time.

That is the thought behind Uncüth Social Club.

Uncüth is a social and community-driven initiative intended to help students connect with what they need—or with someone who may be able to guide them.

It is not meant to prescribe one correct path or place people into a hierarchy.

Another person's experience should not become a formula to copy. It can become one more useful signal before a student makes a decision of their own.

A student may need an answer. Another may need a conversation, a guide, a resource, an introduction or access to someone who understands the situation they are facing.

No single person will have every answer.

That is why a community matters.

One person may share an experience. Another may offer context. Someone else may make the right introduction.

The purpose is simple: make it easier to ask, make more possibilities visible and help students make better-informed choices while remaining fully themselves.

You already have what it takes.

Uncüth helps you Be More Ü.

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Uncüth is a personal, community-driven social initiative. The views expressed here are personal. It is not affiliated with, sponsored by, or endorsed by any current or former employer.